A lot of people have asked me lately how it is the travel and to be gone for long periods of time. So, let’s talk about it.

First, I am beyond grateful to be able to travel for work and I am beyond honored to do so for a cause I stand behind.  My heart is the world, it is people, it is cultures.  I feel at home in so many places throughout the world.

However, traveling comes at a cost. A cost to community, a cost to relationships, and a cost to settlement.

I have spent the past month in hotels – living out of suitcases. Last year, I didn’t fully unpack my suitcases when I would come home and lived with the essentials always semi packed. That gets tiring. This year I moved and haven’t fully unpacked before leaving for a month. Which means I came home to a place that didn’t feel like home.  

Being on travel is great, but it is tiring. Between jet lag, long meetings, and the desire to see the country and people there is little, to no down time. 

I have lived in Washington DC for almost 7 years and this area did not feel like home until year 5.  It took that long to find good and caring community in a city where everyone is busy, and everyone is working to get ahead.  Community is something that I prioritize because I have seen the role it has played in my life; grounding me to who I am and to what I believe.  But the reality is when you travel for long periods of time, you miss out on the lives of the people around you.  You almost go into a surreal state for a while where you cannot keep up with those back home and both sides grow and change.  It is always interesting to come back home after a long trip because the only thing you want while you’re gone is your people but when you come back you know that life is different and you have to work your way back into changed rhythms on both sides.  It takes time and that often times causes anxiety and frustration that you have changed and have to learn those parts of your people to catch up.

For instance, I walked off the plane in Washington DC last night after traveling for over 24 hours and being gone for a month and as soon as I hit American soil I was elated to be ‘home’.  But fast-forward 30 minutes and walking out of the airport took more courage than I thought I could muster.  Walking back into the changed lives of those I care so deeply about and myself having just had a life changing trip brought fear and a lonely feeling of disconnectedness and sadness that I had missed so much in the lives of people I love.  The same is true the other way.  The people I love missed huge life altering parts of my life the past month.  Community bounces back and it takes time to adjust, but that time is always something that I walk into expecting to feel misunderstood and out of touch.

Settlement is never fully there.  When you constantly live out of suitcases and you constantly have to adjust back into community you lose a sense of settled, a sense of ownership and comfort.  This year, I moved right before going on travel.  All of my suitcases (I have many) are still packed with clothes and I unpacked some to repack for travel.  I went on travel with half the things I normally would have thought to pack simply because I didn’t know where they were located.  I came home to a place I barely recognized, and I still have suitcases to unpack.  Settlement is good for the soul.  Settlement gives you a place to be your own, to be fully comfortable, and to be in community.

I will touch a tiny bit on relationships, to say that this past year changed everything for me.  I learned this past year that while I have little desire to be married and have children at this point in life, that I do not want this lifestyle when that happens.  That I want, for the sake of a healthy relationship, the ability to be present.  I definitely want a career in which I travel some, but not as much as I currently do. 

I love to travel, and I will do it regardless of whether it is for work or for personal trips, but it comes at a cost.  A cost that sometimes feels too heavy to carry and one that makes you learn what you really prioritize in life.  Right now, that is community, settlement, and relationships.