I fully believe that we are called to walk through seasons of life that shape us in ways we could not imagine. Currently, I am walking through a season in which all of the change I powered through is now taking its toll. A place where I am trying once again to understand who I am because I work a job that is bigger than me and requires me to grow in ways I wouldn’t have recognized a year ago. It’s a season of learning that I’m not balancing well and I’m burnt out. A season where every decision feels like a weight and impacts more than a single voice should. A season where the unthinkable happens and I am reminded time and time again that my reactions dictate how things proceed.  I have walked into work with the same thought in my head for the past month; “I don’t have anything left to offer in this season. I am weak.”

Now, I want to be careful, and not for anyone else but than for myself, to state that weakness is a necessity. I grew up with the understanding that you do not show weakness. If you didn’t have a broken bone you were not coming off of that playing field.  You sucked it up. And to some extent I am glad that is what I was taught because sometimes in life you have to tough things out. But I think the opposite is also true. I believe that some seasons of life we are called to be weak and to feel everything. That is the season I am in now.

I have had a few friends look at my life over the past month and say they wished they had it together like I do. Let’s speak truth guys! None of us has it all together and I do not pretend to. But I contend that it is dangerous if we continue to live out “perfect lives”! This is unattainable and it leads to comparison, anxiety, depression, and distrust. Seasons come and seasons go, the people that stick around in the midst of those are worth their weight in gold.

Let’s not pretend any more. Let’s be honest.

So to my friends, my life is not all put together. And that is okay and that is how it is meant to be. Right now, I’m walking through a season of life that feels a little heavier than normal and one in which I feel everything all the deeper as I try to figure out my identity and how my personality has changed in the past year. I had a close friend tell me the other day that all he could do was be honest with where he was at. And the respect I have for that is immense. Now its time that we all do that.

Now I fully intended to finish this post with what is above and leave it at that.  But the past two days have challenged me more to live out what I keep professing.  That we all have a voice that matters and that we must speak truth in order to progress as a society.  I can tell you the feeling of not having anything left in me has kept me quiet in situations lately.  When decisions that I make involve the lives of others I have become hesitant to commit because it feels like too heavy of a weight to carry.  But who am I if I do not speak truth to better peoples lives?  So, today I spoke.  Today, I faced a decision that was deeply rooted in fear and today I was completely honest with where I was at.  I am weak. I am not able to do the required steps on my own and I need people to walk it with me.  It may not be the bravest of steps or the most powerful of decisions, but it was true and it was hard and one day it will feel worth it.

I am willing to admit that I have biases that I am not aware of.   I am willing to admit that my life experiences are far from uncomfortable. I am willing to listen.

I have a lot to learn in this world and I want to sit at the table not to be heard but to grow.  I believe that we all have life experiences that should be shared; that should be expressed in order for us as a society to better ourselves.  We all hold value.  But I am willing to start by putting myself last.

Let’s start here.

One of the most underrated values in our culture is respect and the understanding that everything we say and do matters.  It matters because it is a voice – it is powerful- it demands value- it demands to be heard.  All voices – regardless of if you agree or disagree- can and should be heard. 

But with a caveat.

This caveat is that a voice must speak truth – has to know to be quiet at times – seek to further others, not tear other down.  We are not free to destroy one another with our voices. To speak – to have a voice- is powerful, but to stand in the silence – the grace – to hear is the true power.

To have a voice is one of the most powerful tools we grant each other – whether it is the power we grant a friend to speak into our lives, or a mentor to speak truth into our future, or a significant other to speak to our hearts, or to those different than ourselves to speak experience into our worldview.  Words have power and require us to respect one another.  When we do not give each other a voice, we are taking away power. We are saying that their life does not matter, that their experiences do not matter, that they are alone.

To have a voice is one of the most powerful tools we grant each other.

I could sit here and list the divisions our world, our country, or our society are prone to explore right now; but instead of rehashing the negative, I want to focus on the solution.  In this day and age, too many people stand in the polarity.  Not many are walking the middle ground.  Not many are willing to sit down and have a conversation – a conversation to understand – to shape a worldview from the experiences of others.  Not many are willing to dig deep into these issues, into these divisions, into these hard topics and admit that they may be wrong or that they may not be as right as they once thought. 

We live in a culture where social media makes everyone’s voice seem louder and where people feel the freedom to say even more because a screen separates us.  But maybe just maybe this is part of the problem?  Maybe if we stopped screaming, stopped fighting so hard to defend our polarity, stopped attacking one another; we would find that we are all human and all trying to make the best of our lives, that we can disagree and still be respectful and care for one another.

To not have the conversation because of discomfort is the definition of privilege… Your comfort is not at the center.  That’s not how this works….The people who are being persecuted are not responsible for building the table where the conversation will take place.

Brene Brown

I love this quote because what our society needs is for leadership that walks in the discomfort of the issues we are facing and leads the conversation.  These conversations will always be uncomfortable but if we keep shying away from the fact that there are issues to be addressed and movement that we need to make as a world then we will continue to live in the polarity and voices will continue to be ignored. 

To have a voice is one of the most powerful tools we grant each other and its time we came to the table.